We all have that part of ourselves that we try to repress, ignore, and run away from. The part of ourselves that makes us uncomfortable. Our shadow selves is a part of who we are whether we like it or not. In terms of Psychology, it is an unconscious aspect of ourselves. Esoterically, there are certain conditions to where you can go even deeper with it. Like in my case: Accidental Hypersigiling.
What is hypersigiling you may ask? A hyper sigil is a drawn symbol or a piece of art drawn with intent and then charged in various ways. This term was coined by Grant Morrison, who was notable for turning his comic, The Invisibles, into a hypersigil. This is essentially what I did with Chance. The only difference is, it was an accident. How did that happen?
Well, in 2009, when I first made Chance the rabbit in high school. I didn't have any sort of intention whatsoever. He was just a happy go lucky bunny with a big ego who could sing and play guitar. That was it. In 2015, I stopped drawing him for a while because I gave up on whatever rendition of the comic I was doing at the time. My self esteem was low, my self worth was low. The only thing that was high was my envy and my rage. I went of a side quest of fanart for Dragon Ball, Foster's Home, and My Little Pony. No Chance the Rabbit was to be seen because of course the fan art made it easier to get traction and followers. Unfortunately, fandoms are toxic. Now I didn't have the worst time in these particular fandoms. Only one but we'll get to that later.
Fast forward to 2020, back when we were on lockdown. Well, at my job, we were told to stay home because everyone was trying not to get covid. So it was basically a three month vacation. I took this opportunity to bring back my boy and start the beloved webcomic Divine Acid. Now I'm sure you're wondering "When are you going to get to the hypersigiling part?" Oh don't you worry. We're getting there because what makes this rendition of the comic different is that I was just introduced into the occult. It was also a time I was into Dragon Ball which played a role in it.
This time around, I didn't just bring Chance back, I projected a lot of myself into him and the comic. I poured all of my insecurities and all the qualities I hated about myself onto him. At the time I didn't have the knowledge, recourses, or skills to deal with all of my shadow aspects so I just channeled it through him in not just the comic but a lot of my artwork. I projected all of my anger and envy expressed though visual anger using Dragon Ball inspired expressions. In fact, I designed and modeled Chance after Vegeta with that tough guy attitude. This was during a time where I put the tough guy act on myself and ran away from my "foolish emotions" pretending not to care about anyone else. Yes quite edgy I know. But that only made things worse. I ended up bottling up so much and my only means of expressing any of it was through Chance. I did this for about three years.
With all of that raw emotion, projection, and artwork, eventually I noticed what seemed like Chance speaking to me. There were times when I would doodle his expressions on a big empty canvas, based on how I felt and what I saw in my mind as if he wanted me to channel those out to convey a message. While I did take note of this, I didn't think much of it. I did question if Chance somewhat had a mind of his own but never actually took the time to dig deeper.
In 2023, is when I started resenting him and the comic. I mean who would want to look in the mirror and only see the worst parts of themselves? At this point in time I had confirmed that Chance was indeed....semi-sentient. My only thought process was "well if I keep doing this comic and keep drawing him, I'm only going to manifest these shadow aspects and make them worse!" So, I considered quitting the comic and drop him all together. I was only SLOWLY updating the comic with weeks in between pages because I got so mentally exhausted and the resentment made it harder and harder for me to push through. Then I went on another tangent.
In comes the Fairly Oddparents! I'm not gonna go too much into detail with this one. Long story short, I ditched Chance for fanart of the Fairly Oddparents during the new series, gained popularity, and connections only to have one of the worst experiences of my life and lose it all. Now, don't get me wrong there was some good that came out of this. It was one of the biggest and most valuable life lessons that helped me realize what's actually important. First off, it helped me see the value in my comic, Divine Acid and secondly, Chance needed to be approached with compassion and understanding.
About a week and a half ago I was told about understanding the moon. I didn't get it at first until now and it makes sense. The moon has two sides. One side illuminated and the other covered in darkness. It represents the two aspects of ourselves. Obviously the shadow self being the the dark side of the moon. If you're an esoteric practitioner like me, certain phases of the moon can be useful for shadow work. I started doing shadow work in late 2023. It's hard the first time around but the more you do it the easier it gets and the more you understand it. Shadow work is never done. In fact, it takes a life time. You're always learning and discovering new things about yourself and your life's journey.
Upon working with Chance, I have discovered a few things:
And this is only after a week and a half. I'm excited to spend more quality time with him because boy oh boy he could definitely use it. Poor little guy.
Anyway that's all I have for now! I will see you next time! And don't forget to catch me on my live streams!
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